OUR OWN HOME

"SEPARATION FROM PARENTS & NOT RENTING"

Before I got married I remember reading and hearing a lot of couples giving advice on not living with your in-laws. Yet, in Trinidad there are so many families that traditionally start their first few years of marriage with either the wife's parents or the husband's parents. All seemed well enough and horror stories of that famous "evil mother-in-law" was few and far between. I was also given the advice of saving money and buying my own home, many begged me not to rent because it was going to be a loss. Now this is all well and good, however when circumstances are such that you don't have the support of parents reality is far different.

S. And I had saved some money before we got married and as such we were looking for ways to further save money to have enough for a good nest egg. After we got married by parents had converted a store room into a bedroom for us, it was a nice gesture but we were naive to think it was in our best interest. At first it worked well we would spend time there and then go out, but it became very uncomfortable especially since the washing room was next to our room and our parents were right there when we wanted to be intermit. We had to whisper when we wanted to have a private conversation, but what was worse was the attempts by my mother to control our life. C. would tell us how to spend our money, how to shop and when to have children. It was starting to feel like we were under scrutiny for nearly everything. (Aug 1st 2006)

I was thinking today that I had not continued this post for nearly 2 week. Life has become so hectic these days that my thoughts are elsewhere. So, its now 16th August and I really should finish this post before I forget a lot of what I was thinking in the first place. However, not tonight, in fact this is a little note to remind me to finish, that's all. So I will sign out for now and continue when I have gotten a chance. (16th August 2006)

Well I did not think I was going to take so long to write my next post, I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that most of what I have wanted to say I have said already. So I will finish this train of thought and then I will see where God has me go from here. Mine you my wife and I have been under some serious attack of late especially since we have decided to serve God and stay together.

So where did I stop from the last time I wrote or yes interference from parents. Well things came to a head when my wife and I could not even make a move in the house. It became so uncomfortable that we had to move or else our marriage would not last. The mistake we made was to accept the invitation to stay in my mother-in-laws home. Things were ok for a while when we moved out of my parents home and into S's mom's house. However, when she moved back in as well M. as I will call her began to order us around and to criticize everything we did and said. Arguments broke out and worse pressures were brought to bear on us from M. It was frustrating since who could not say anything since we felt obligated. Feeling trapped we looked for an opportunity to leave, desperate we took the cheapest house we could find without even investigating the house or land-lady.

I tell you this as advice, never rent and try your best to get your own home and land. Our Land-Lady from hell made us feel responsible for her house, wanted us to pay for all the repairs and raised the rent 3 times on us. It became so bad that she was inspecting the house constantly and invading our privacy. She had become worse that our parents combined. Mind you there were reasons why God had us in this position and we have learned a lot from the experience. So I am just writing this to say be aware of where you live after getting married.